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The concept of a bridezilla is par for the course when wedding planning, but occasionally the wedding theatrics stem from another source entirely: the mother of the bride. While every bride craves a helping hand as she designs her wedding, an overzealous mom can transform an otherwise exciting process into one fraught with anxiety. So what is a bride to do when her mother becomes a bit too involved in the planning process? Our etiquette experts weigh in on the sensitive subject of asking the mother-of-the-bride to reign it in.
A wedding can be just as exciting for a mother of the bride as the occasion is for the bride herself, and occasionally such zeal manifests itself in the form of hands-on involvement with the planning process. Before confronting your mom on her aggressive efforts, it is important to understand that the behavior stems from a place of love and genuine excitement. Set aside a time to speak with your mother privately, in a calm environment where you both feel comfortable. Make sure to begin your discussion by expressing your gratitude for your her support and help throughout the planning process. You may even wish to compliment some of her ideas if any struck you as especially thoughtful or fitting for the wedding.
Next, gently explain to your mom that despite your appreciation for her efforts, you wish to take the burden off wedding planning off of her plate. It is important for both you and your mother to understand why the change is being implemented. Are there details you feel more comfortable supervising yourself? Is your mother's taste different from yours? Kindly explain your reasoning if you feel comfortable doing so, and if you feel comfortable doing so, encourage your mom to offer her opinions if she respects your right to decline them. If you think that she will be distressed by being completely removed from the planning process, you may consider giving her a single wedding-related project or task to work on, which you wouldn't mind relinquishing. That way, she'lll still feel included in the planning process, and you can maintain your creative vision of your wedding.