Ask a Professional Bridesmaid: How Do You Figure Out Who Should Be Your Bridesmaids?


Jen Glantz is a "Professional Bridesmaid" and the founder of Bridesmaid for Hire. She's the author of All My Friends Are Engaged and frequently wears old bridesmaid dresses to the grocery store and on first dates. For her column, Jen answers a fellow bridesmaid's burning question: How do you choose bridesmaids?

I've been a bridesmaid more times than I'd like to admit. So when I think about my own wedding, whenever that lovely day will be, I get a sudden rush of anxiety over who my bridesmaids will be and how I'll decide among all of the wonderful women who asked me to stand by their side for their wedding day. The process, which should be exciting and fun, feels like it would be an immediate way to watch friendships dissolve and to have tears erupt. But the other day, I was thinking about who I would really want by my side on my wedding day — a day that is often colored with stress and decisions and pressure. That's when I came up with a trick I like to call the "elevator trick".

See more: 10 Things to Do the Week After You're Asked to Be a Bridesmaid

Think about it this way, if you were stuck in an elevator, who would you want by your side inside of the elevator? You'll be anxious, sweaty, probably hungry. Will you want a ton of people who you barely speak to or who typically bring extra stress and drama with them no matter where they go? Or do you want people who know how to keep you calm and make you laugh off the ugly situations that pop up out of nowhere?

It's that simple. Choose them. Choose the people you would want to dance around that elevator with until the door slides open. Those are the women who should be your bridesmaids.

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