What to Do If Your Dad Won't Give Your Boyfriend Permission to Pop the Question

Father of the Bride

Photo: Courtesy of Buena Vista/Courtesy Neal Peters Collection

After dating a significant other for a long period of time, it is likely a proposal is in the works, but what if a lack of fatherly approval is standing between you and your dream wedding? While requesting permission to propose is a traditional notion, the sentiment remains relevant today, but not all parents are willing to give their immediate consent. Simply because you've fallen for your fiancé does not guarantee your father will feel the same way. Our etiquette experts weigh in on the tricky topic of procuring father of the bride's blessing.

Before despairing that the marriage is not meant to be, consider the matter from your father's perspective and set aside time to discuss the matter with him. Your father may simply be hesitant to let his cherished child begin the next phase of her life by taking a significant step into adulthood. An upcoming marriage can provoke mixed emotions in parents of the bride and groom, since the union of their children can feel like a bit of a loss as much as it is a celebration. Sometimes, simply letting a parent know their importance in your life is necessary to secure their blessing.

However, only your father can explain why he is reluctant to issue his blessing. If you feel comfortable directly asking him about the source of his hesitation, do so without the presence of your boyfriend. Make sure to enter into the conversation with an open mind, and carefully listen to what your father has to say. If he feels the engagement is too sudden, or he wishes to foster a greater familiarity with your significant other you can easily plan occasions for your father and future fiancé to chat and gradually build a rapport.

See More: To Ask Or Not To Ask? Getting Her Dad's Permission Before Proposing

If your father's doubts pertain to your boyfriend's character, you may have a greater decision in front of you. Be truthful to your own thoughts and emotions towards your partner, but be aware that your family's opinions are not to be completely discounted. Give your father time to consider the proposition. If the union is truly a good match based upon a mutually supportive relationship, your father's blessing will likely follow.

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