The High-Wire Diplomacy of Wedding Planning

Planning Tips
Diplomacy of Wedding Planning

Photo: Columbia Pictures/Courtesy Neal Peters Collection

You're the bride and groom. Did you know you were diplomats, too? Because as bride and groom, you're at the center of every decision, every conflict, every storm as you plan your wedding, with both sets of parents, siblings, and friends giving advice and spouting strong opinions. It's a challenge, and requires you both to develop a delicate diplomatic touch. Think Secretary of State Kerry negotiating the nuclear deal with the foreign ministers of the UK, Russia, Germany, France, China, the E.U. and Iran and you've got a glimpse of what you're going through.

OK, so maybe planning your wedding isn't quite up there with the safety of the planet. Still, it will require you and your fiancé to negotiate, woo, debate, hear out, and deal sensitively and delicately with all these important people in your lives. Your job, as a couple, is to get to the finish line — a.k.a. your wedding day — with all these relationships functional and intact. You don't want to piss loved ones off needlessly.

See more: 8 Commonly Neglected Wedding-Planning Details You Should Remember

So channel your inner Secretary of State Kerry when your Mom and future MIL vocally disagree about the budget, the rehearsal dinner, or the color scheme. After all, you and your fiancé are in charge of the success or failure of this challenging and high-stakes game. Seeing wedding planning as an act of diplomacy can help give you a wiser, greater perspective on this phase of your lives together.

Allison Moir-Smith, MA, is a bridal counselor, creator of How Brides-To-Be REALLY Feel videos, and author of Emotionally Engaged: A Bride's Guide to Surviving the "Happiest" Time of Her Life.

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