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Your husband could trim his nose hair and you'd notice. But when you walk in the front door, transformed from a brunette to a blonde, he barely bats an eye. What gives?
"I know it's hard for us to accept," says Lynn Gilliard, author of Let Him Chase You, "but that's just a guy thing! They don't pay as much attention to detail as women do. Women are very detail-oriented. Men are simpler and tend to see the bigger picture."
But it's often difficult to not take his nonexistent attention to detail to heart. So when it hurts your feelings that he doesn't notice you shed 10 pounds, it's OK to point it out — gently. "Bring it up in a light-hearted way, says Gilliard, such as, "'Wow, you must have a lot on your mind, babe, because you didn't even notice my new hairstyle! What's up with that?'" Keeping the conversation light "puts levity in the situation, brings your concern to his attention, and also shows that you care about what he may be going through at the same time. Win-win-win."
If his absentminded disattention persists, it could be time for a more serious talk. Just "use positive language to avoid sounding like you're nagging, and be honest and be specific," advises GIlliard. "For instance, instead of saying, 'I really hate it when you don't give me any attention,' you might say, 'Can we talk honey? You know, I really like it when you give me feedback on my appearance! Your opinion matters to me. So what do you think about my new hairstyle?'"