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You love your new husband. His tattered leather sofa and his signed 80's hairband poster? Not so much. "We have different tastes and personalities, and after marriage are expected to merge them all? It's not always that easy," commiserates Rachel DeAlto, relationship expert and author of Flirt Fearlessly.
So while you work to build a life and home together, just how many of his prized possessions do you have to welcome with open arms? First, DeAlto says, assess how important each possession is to your husband and weigh it against how important it is to you to not have it around. "If he's truly attached to that band poster, maybe you can let him put it in a place that's less conspicuous," DeAlto suggests. "Distasteful man items are the reason the man cave was invented."
Before you broach the subject of, say, his beloved band poster or tattered leather sofa, prepare what you want to say, and how you want to say it, carefully. "Don't judge him for his taste and don't patronize," warns DeAlto. "Let him know you understand he really feels attached to his sofa, but it may not be the best fit for your home together."
If your husband has a sentimental attachment to his possessions — as in, that sofa once resided in his grandfather's home — realize you may be fighting an uphill battle, and try to see the value in the item beyond its physical appeal, or lack thereof. "You need to balance his feelings with your desire for a certain look within your home," DeAlto says. "Try to empathize with him. How important is it? If it's important, then make a space." Even if that space is in a man cave.