Ask a Professional Bridesmaid: Can You Respond "Maybe" When Asked to Be a Bridesmaid?


There are times when it is okay to say maybe. When your mom asks you if you'll clean out the junk from high school when you go home to visit during winter vacation. Perhaps even when someone asks you if you'll consider trying Brussels sprouts and goat cheese. But there are times, like when someone asks you to marry them or be their girlfriend, to accept a job position, or have pizza for dinner, when it's absolutely not acceptable to say "maybe." Answering the coveted question of "Will you be my bridesmaid" is one of those times.

It's okay to not be sure if you can take on the role of being a bridesmaid, but it's important to be open and honest with the bride, and in a timely fashion. If you have reservations, make yourself a pro-con list. Write down some of the things that limit you from saying yes and talk them over with the bride so that you're upfront with her.

Dishing out a maybe will just prolong you from making a decision and make the bride feel like she's not a priority. Nobody deserves to feel like that, especially during their wedding adventure.

So say you'd like to think about it and do that for one day. Then, let the bride know if you'll be standing up there at the altar with her or sitting in the second row cheering her on with a big supportive smile!

Jen Glantz is a "Professional Bridesmaid" and the founder of Bridesmaid for Hire. She's the author of All My Friends Are Engaged and frequently wears old bridesmaid dresses to the grocery store and on first dates. In her monthly column for Jen answers a fellow bridesmaid's burning question.

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