Lena Dunham has made it quite clear that she and longtime boyfriend Jack Antonoff would not be getting married until all of their LGBTQ friends could. And with the recent Supreme Court ruling that marriage is a right for all, you'd assume she's headed down the aisle soon, right? Not exactly. In an essay for The New Yorker, Dunham outlines the hesitations and complications she and Jack face when it comes to marriage.
She first talks about meeting Antonoff at 25, and falling hard for him and his deep beliefs. "His belief in, and insistence on, true equality for LGBTQ. citizens was no small reason why I fell in love with him, and, early in our relationship, I watched him struggle with the decision of whether or not to perform at a straight couple's wedding," the Girls star explains. "He discussed the matter at length with queer friends, concerned that it might be a form of betrayal (ultimately, he was given their blessing, though he seemed fairly tortured about it anyhow). The struggle was real and raw for Jack, and so it somehow became understood, between us, that we wouldn't even consider marrying until every American had the same right."
Of course, then, she discusses how she proudly (and loudly) discussed their decision to wait until it was an equal right for all. "I proudly wore our anti-marriage badge, though I did cut a rug at assorted straight weddings...But I also liked that our anti-marriage plan wasn't absolute, and that it teased at a brighter future for all (a future where I might get to wear the fluffy white dress)."
So when the Supreme Court ruling was announced, texts, tweets, and phone calls began to flood in. Dunham explains she received messaged like: "Now you can get married!" "Hello, bride to be <3" "So, when's the wedding??" She too tweeted to Antonoff "get on it, yo" and explains she immediately regretted it.
The decision, to both Antonhoff and herself, is more complicated than getting greenlit by the ruling. "It turns out that what I was waiting for was not the chance to marry but the chance to think about marriage on an even playing field, in a world where its relevance is a little harder to question and its essence a little harder to reject."
While she says that she and Antonoff will not be getting married yet, it's not ruled out entirely in the future.