The Bachelorette Week Three Recap: The Birds and The Bees

Celebrity, TV & Movies

Bachelorette Kaitlyn's quest for a husband continues! Last night's episode of The Bachelorette was somewhat uncomfortably sandwiched by the behavior of two terrible contestants. Luckily, the meat in between that bread was much more light and entertaining. With two group dates and one one-on-one date, we got to know the suitors a little better and, in some cases, hate them a little more. Without further ado, here's our updated husband-o-meter rankings:

Kupah: -10
The episode kicked off with the tail-end of Kupah's rage spiral, which started at the end of last week's episode when Kaitlyn sent him home for several awkward miscommunications. He sealed his fate with a few more Hulk-like growls (audible within the mansion), and yet another tense face-to-face with Kaitlyn, where he made one last plea to stay. Spoiler: It didn't work.

See more: Will Britt Nilsson Get Engaged Before Bachelorette Kaitlyn Bristowe?

Tony: -5
Oh, Tony. The emotional healer rightly pointed out that the sumo-wrestling group date was the second in a row where guys had to physically fight for Kaitlyn's heart. And judging by what happened to poor Jared's face during last week's boxing match, this wasn't the best idea. Zen-like Tony, armed with a fresh man bun, sunglasses, and sumo diaper, aired his grievances to Kaitlyn (and eventually Ian) before sitting out the challenge and, later on, sending himself home. Kaitlyn wasn't terribly broken up about it.

Shawn: 10
The lovechild of Ryan Gosling and Matthew McConaughey had a strong first week, but faded into the background on episode two. Last night, he came roaring back into front-runner status, mostly by making out with Kaitlyn to reassure her of their connection. He got the sumo-wrestling date rose.

Ben Z.: 8
Ben Z., AKA the muscleman who knocked out Jared last week, got the one-on-one date, which involved a drive to a mysterious, Chris Harrison-selected location. Their date was an escape the room-style adventure, filled with bats, birds, and a snake. Romance! Kaitlyn had her big, strong man protecting her from the harmless elements, which endeared him even more to her. We'd say he's a strong contender, but a. He severely injured a contestant, and b. He hasn't cried in 11 years! He has his reasons, but wow.

Ben H.: 11
The second group date was teaching sex education to kids (who were, unbeknownst to the contestants, child actors). The whole thing was pretty entertaining, especially when Ben H. killed it with his demonstration of how to make a baby. He included Kaitlyn, avoided being grotesque, and seemed friendly and approachable. That's future father material right there.

J.J.: 0
Ugh. A lot of time was spent highlighting J.J.'s budding bromance with Clint, which team Bachelorette tried to spin as "Brokeback Bachelor." Instead, it was just two grown men with outsized egos acting like children. It wasn't fun to watch.

Clint: -1
The only thing worse than J.J.'s attempt to "separate the men from the boys" was Clint's philosophy that Kaitlyn should approach him during the group date to show her interest. Even J.J. knew this was a terrible strategy — not just in real life, but especially in a setting where multiple men are vying for one girl's heart. She called him out on it, he tried to apologize, and then basically the entire rest of the house threw him under the bus. The episode ended with her sitting him down for a good talking-to. We can't wait to see what happens next week!

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