Help! My Mother Hates My Wedding Plans

Mother Hates Wedding Plans

Photo: Getty Images

If you and your mother have butted heads over everything from your fashion sense to the contents of your refrigerator, chances are, she'll have a bone — or 10! — to pick with your wedding plans. "It is unbelievably common for a bride's mom to get too heavily involved and opinionated on what is a unique and special experience reserved specifically for the bride and groom," admits Courtney Wolf, wedding planner and marketing director of Invision Events.

From battles over the color of your calligraphy ink to the ribbon used to tie your bouquet, Wolf says, "all aspects of planning are fair game for mother and daughter disputes." But, "we all know mothers only want what's best for their daughters, and I am sure this is where all of this stems from," she says. So it's best to put down your dukes and learn how to deal instead!

See More: 4 Things All Parents Love at Weddings

"The best advice I can give to both moms and daughters alike is to simply respect one another during this process and enjoy this time together," Wolf says. While you can't exactly point it out to her, your mother should be willing to "realize she's 'had her turn,' and this is now the bride's opportunity to have the wedding she always imagined — within reason of course," says Wolf.

For her part, the bride must understand that while the wedding day is "first and foremost about her, her fiancé and their relationship, it's also important to honor and consider the thoughts and feelings of those closest to you," Wolf says. Consider ways to compromise in order to shut down conflict and make a concerned mother happy. "Can you tie in a family tradition or use an heirloom piece as part of the ceremony or reception? If so, those may be lovely ways to incorporate your family and what's important to them' as a part of your day without going overboard," Wolf suggests.

Finally, keep your focus on what's important. "This is such a special season in a young woman's life, so take the time to enjoy it with those you love and care for and try not to get caught up in the minute details which don't really matter anyways!" Wolf says.

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