How to (Politely) Decline a Mother-in-Law's Request

Should You Wear Wedding Veil

Photo: Gia Canali

Your in-laws may mean well when it comes to their actions, but sometimes even a kindhearted gesture can be overwhelming. But what happens when an eager mother-in-law goes so far as to insist that the bride-to-be sports her vintage veil? Our etiquette experts weigh in.

The key to gracefully handling a mother-in-law's demands is nearly always maintaining a courteous attitude, and addressing the issue of a veil you don't wish to wear requires the same decorum. First, really consider the option of wearing your mother-in-law's veil. If your mother-in-law is willing to allow alterations, there may be some way to modernize the accessory and blend its style with your gown.

See More: 4 (Painless) Ways To Bond With Your Future Mother-In-Law

However, if your stance is firm, set up a time to speak with your mother-in-law one-on-one. Begin the conversation by expressly stating your delight and gratitude at the thoughtful offer. After conveying your thanks, gently explain to your mother-in-law that while the veil is lovely, you had hoped to select your own for the wedding. In addition, clarify that you would be delighted to honor your mother-in-law in another facet of your nuptial garb. If your mother-in-law seems troubled by your refusal, you might consider including her in the search for your veil. Your mother-in-law will feel like a part of your sartorial choices, yet the final look will be completely your own.

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