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Every week, we give our readers a glimpse inside the mindset of a guy's brain on weddings with the help of the hilarious and smart editors at The Plunge. Here, they're sharing what most guys consider the worst parts of planning the big day.
Shocking though this may seem to many of you out there in Brideland, we grooms don't hate everything about wedding planning. Just most things. Certain things much more than the rest. Here are six of those things.
As men, a lot of us are not accustomed to wearing jewelry, let alone spending large amounts of money on a ring that we're suddenly going to be expected to wear all the time — until we die. That's a pretty loaded purchase. If we could, we'd let you pick it out and be done with it. But then you'd misinterpret our reluctance to join you at the jewelry store as reluctance to marry you so yeah, that option is out. In the end we're better off for sucking it up and going with you because we're the ones who are going to be tapping and twirling and twiddling with this thing. We're still not happy about it, though. The shopping part that is.
We don't want to write our own vows for the same reason we wouldn't perform our own gum surgery. Certain things are best left to the professionals (or in this case, cribbed from a tried and true source like, oh, say, the bible for starters). This is just not a thing we ever want to do. Especially if you insist we not only write our own but then don't share them with each other until that moment. This will not result in the world's most romantic surprise. This will result in us going way too far with a personal anecdote, piling on inappropriate pop-culture references, or dropping an accidental f-bomb while you try to be sweet and earnest. We can't help ourselves, which is why this is an awful wedding-planning thing.
Haggling with Vendors
You think you're working together to craft the most beautiful, unforgettable, right off your Pinterest board wedding. We think they've got us by the balls and they know it. These people have a lot of nerve charging us those prices — and even more for not accepting my perfectly reasonable counter-offer of half of whatever they said they charge. How could a bunch of flowers cost that much? The worst part is, they're usually willing to compromise in the end, but they force you to go through the whole song and dance before you get there.
Health care proxy, power of attorney, a will — we're not even sure these constitute wedding planning tasks but they are things that come up during the engagement and they are boring. Not only that, but they're just kind of icky. Sure, anything can happen at any time, but nobody likes to think about that. We're supposed to be planning for the rest of our lives together. The keyword being "lives."
Flowers, Linens, Stationary
Don't care, don't care, don't care.
The Guest List
These were hard enough to deal with when they were just between you and us. Now you're getting our mother involved?