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You've said yes to your fiancé and yes to a lifelong, committed relationship, but affirmation isn't always the answer when planning your wedding. Between working with your wedding planner, choosing your bridesmaids, pleasing your in-laws, and making time for your fiancé, there are a plethora of people to keep happy as you plan your nuptials when the only two people who should be a priority are the bride and groom. Saying no to your mother-in-law may be more terrifying than losing your wedding venue at the last moment, but learning to politely decline will save you from being a haggard and harried bride on your big day. Here are five times you can and should say no to your loved ones or wedding planner on the way to your big day.
1. You're overbooked
As much as you may wish to break the space-time continuum so you can work overtime at your job, host a champagne toast with your fiancé, and attend a cake tasting with your wedding planner, you can't be in three places at once. Set your priorities, and know that your fiancé, wedding planner, or parents will understand the scheduling conflict.
2. You've been strong-armed into a wedding-planning choice
The wedding-planning process presents a rare occasion when the bride is always right. Unless the choice is a matter of safety or cost, you should never feel as if you've been forced to throw a 300-person wedding when you wished for an intimate affair, or settle on chocolate wedding cake when you adore vanilla.
3. A facet of the wedding goes against your values or faith
Your wedding is a time to celebrate melding your values and faith with your fiancé's, not a chance for your planner or in-laws to impose their beliefs upon you. If you feel strongly about selecting a demure gown due to your faith or wish to include a hymn from the bible in your nondenominational ceremony, make your reasoning clear to those involved with the wedding.
4. You're being unnecessarily encouraged to make a snap decision
Unless your wedding is a week away, there is usually time to think on a wedding planning decision overnight. A planner's responsibility is to make sure the wedding is properly planned and runs smoothly, but pressuring their client to make a decision on the spot when there is no time crunch to speak of isn't in their job description.
5. Your health is at risk
Saying no to a midnight phone call with your planner or a last-minute ambush visit from your in-laws could be your saving grace. Stress and lack of sleep can easily drive your immune system into the ground, so take a step back if you need a break. A bride with a severe head cold won't enjoy her day nearly as much as a bride who is healthy and well-rested.