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You love your husband, but that doesn't always mean you want to have sex with him. In fact, you've got a lineup of go-to reasons — such as a long day at work, or pure exhaustion after chasing the kids around all afternoon — why sex just isn't going to happen. But when we avoid sex, we also miss out on all its amazing benefits.
"When you have sex, have better brain function thanks to the oxygenation of your blood," says Dr. Patti Britton, sexologist and sex coach. "You'll have enhanced moods, such as feeling better about yourself or having higher self-esteem, and you'll release the feel-good hormone oxytocin, which lets us bond to and nurture a partner. And you'll experience better blood circulation for better overall health."
So when you find yourself reaching for an excuse as tired as you are, think again — in fact, try to chuck these three altogether.
"I'm not in the mood."
"This woman is not feeling aroused or desired," says Britton, "but research shows that women often get in the mood by being stimulated with words, emotions or touch."
"I've got a headache," or, "I'm too tired."
"Having an orgasm is actually a great way to alleviate pain such as headaches," says Britton. "The irony is that some women have headaches because they aren't releasing sexual energy that's building up. Having a good orgasm can be just what the doctor ordered!"
"I'm not into my husband anymore."
"People do become bored with each other," admits Britton. "Changing it up and adding variety stimulates dopamine receptors in the brain, adding to the arousal and attraction you feel for your partner."
And remember: "Don't wait to feel horny or desirous of sex to have sex — let yourself get into action and feel it later," advises Britton. "Desire is complicated, especially for women. We often don't feel it, but being responsive to a partner's requests or advances can result in a happier sex life."