Photo: Getty Images
"Duh" moment of the day: It can be tough to be single. So when you're happily in love, it can be easy for you to unintentionally annoy your solo gal pals — the ones with a desire to have their own plus-ones — with all the mushy-gushy you're dying to share. "If a single friend isn't happy with how things are going in her own life, anything the married friend does can invoke discomfort — from simply putting a ringed finger on the table at resting pose, to mentioning 'my husband' in a conversation," explains relationship expert April Masini. "It may not be the intention of a married friend to upset her single friend, but that upset often has way more to do with the person who is getting upset than the one who is doing the upsetting."
So rather than stepping on egg-shells around your single friends, take a look over the five ways you're most likely driving them a little cuckoo, and avoid them instead.
You annoy her by ... coming to her rescue.
"'Don't worry — you'll get your ring one day' may be said to reassure and comfort a friend. Newsflash: It will annoy her to no end," Masini says. "It underlines the problem she feels she is facing — being single. You can stop desperately trying to fix her up with guys she might find marriage with. Your goodwill is going to be misinterpreted as desperation for her plight."
You annoy her by ... initiating or throwing couples-centric events.
"When you marry, chances are, you're going to have other married friends. It's just something that naturally happens," explains Masini. "So including your single friend because you want her to be part of your life, when you've got a lot of couples involved in a party or an event may make her feel less than, rather than included. And your invitation that allows her to bring a plus one, or to fix her up with someone is going to make her feel like she's less than because she's one, not two."
You annoy her by ... asking your MIL to tag along.
"Bringing your mother-in-law along to lunch may rankle your friend, even though she brings her friends to lunch with you all the time," Masini says. "The simple act of bringing a mother-in-law will feel like an announcement that you have one — as well as a husband, something she doesn't."
You annoy her with ... non-stop wedding talk.
"Your wedding joy may remind a single friend of the absence of such in her life. Planning a wedding can become all-consuming, and without realizing it, you keep talking about caterers, flowers, wedding colors, showers and chicken dinners" Masini describes. "You're trying to include her, but she feels like you're holding the brass ring — or in this case, the diamond one — over her head."
You annoy her by ... posting your relationship details to social media.
"You keep tweeting, posting on Instagram, and pinning on Pinterest, and without realizing it, your social media profile has become an homage to marriage," says Masini. "Can you help it if you're excited? No. But your single friend may feel that she needs 'space' from your online presence. It's not you — well, actually, it is you. You just didn't intend to insult her with your focus."