Photo: Chellise Michael Photography
Every week, we give our readers a glimpse inside the mind-set of a guy's brain on weddings with the help of the hilarious and smart editors at The Plunge.
What's the groom's perspective on the "first look?" The quick, easy, and completely useless answer is the same as it is for many wedding-related questions: whatever makes the bride happy. To be honest, we wouldn't have even known the first look was a thing, let alone the subject of debate, before we got married. Apparently, though, some people still really think it's bad luck for the bride and groom to see each other before the wedding ceremony or are adamant about sharing that tender moment in front of a hundred or more guests for some other reason. Fine. The true man's perspective on this whole debate is something along the lines of "Who gives a damn?" However, after having gone through the process, we're glad we decided to do the first-look thing. Here's why.
It's more romantic.
Yeah, yeah, we don't care about romance, blah, blah, blah. Well, guess what? On our wedding day, all we really want is to be with you. That gets to be difficult once the real party time starts and friends, grandparents, and distant cousins start pulling us in a million directions. The first look is one of a surprisingly small number of moments where the two of us just get to be together and soak in the magnitude of the day without being gawked at by everyone we know. What's more romantic than that?
It relaxes everyone.
When we're standing up there at the altar, waiting for you to walk down the aisle, most of our energy is fixated on avoiding two things: throwing up and passing out. If we haven't seen you all day up until that moment, the intensity — and likelihood of one of those two things happening — gets ratcheted way, way up. We don't own that aisle runner, so let's do the first look beforehand and save ourselves a hefty dry cleaning bill.
We look better.
You just spent six hours getting your hair and makeup professionally styled and getting into a dress that requires assistance from five girls working in tandem. We've also meticulously groomed ourselves, even ironing our shirt and putting on deodorant for this special occasion. Shouldn't we see each other for the first time when all that is most fresh? Definitely makes for much better, relatively sweat-free pictures. Because as soon as we're at that altar (and certainly when we're on the dance floor), we'll be at Patrick Ewing Game 7 levels. Underrated fact, this method actually nets us more photos together because it forces us to spend more time together (see above).
Thirsty too, while we're on the subject. And nothing kills cocktail-hour feeding time like having to take ten thousand photos. Doing the first look means those pics are out of the way and we have to only take roughly five thousand after the ceremony, which gets us to the cocktail hour quicker, which — let's be honest — is everyone's favorite part of the wedding. Those mini hot dogs aren't going to eat themselves!
We paid a lot for this party.
And we'd like to enjoy it. Formal photos are going to eat an hour of the day regardless of when we take them, and doing a first look allows us to take them before the dinner and drinking and dancing — you know, the fun part.
We need a minute.
The first half of the day is a whirlwind. We're figuring out how everything is going to go and, frankly, where the hell we are and what the hell is happening. The first look gives us that minute to pause, catch our breath, look into your eyes, and be with our best friend. After that minute, we're relaxed and ready to take on the rest of our biggest day together.