Duly Noted: The 10 Dos and Don'ts of Thank-You Notes

Etiquette, Invites & Stationery
Thank You Card Etiquette Pre- and Post-Wedding

Photo: Cathy Crawford

Thanking your friends and family not only for their generous wedding gifts, but for also being part of your special day is an absolutely essential pre-and-post-wedding task (yes, engagement party and shower gifts require a thank you, too!). While a gracious note seems simple enough, there are some key things you need to keep in mind. To help you get it right, here are the 10 do's and don'ts of the perfect thank-you card.

Do: Order Stationery Early
Purchase a good stock of stationery shortly after he pops the question so you can thank people for engagement-party and shower gifts. Your thank-yous must be on paper: texts and emails don't count.

Don't: Worry About Matching Thank-You Cards to Your Invites
It's not required to have matching stationery, so feel free to get creative with your thank-you notes! Pick something that expresses your personality and that you really love since you'll likely be seeing a lot of these pretty notes.

Do: Incorporate a Monogram If You Want
There are tons of fresh and modern ways to incorporate monograms in your wedding stationery. Remember to use just the initials of your first names if you're sending anything out before you get hitched, though.

Don't: Tackle Them All Yourself
Split the list with your husband so you both take on some of the work. Cosigning each note is always a nice touch, but it's optional.

See More: What to Do With Those Ugly Wedding Gifts

Do: Send Them On Time
You should send pre-wedding thank-yous within two weeks. For wedding gifts, the max is three months. Planning on personalizing your cards with a big-day photo? If it means missing your deadline, use an engagement pic instead.

Don't: Write a Novel
Keep it to four or five sentences at most. And don't get too formal. If ending the note with a "Merci, y'all" is you, then by all means do it!

Do: Pace Yourself
To avoid thank-you-note-induced carpal tunnel, aim to write about two a day.

Don't: Misspell a Gift Giver's Name
Check each one against the master guest list or her social-media profiles if you're unsure about spelling.

Do: Send Individual Notes
Even if your friends or family members went in on a group gift, they've all contributed. Make sure to send each person their own thank you.

Don't: Forget to Thank Your VIPs
Whether it's hosts who threw parties, vendors who went beyond, and your parents and in-laws who relished (and sweated!) the small stuff, these people all deserve a hand-written thank you, too.

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