What to Do When Your MOH Goes MIA

Bridesmaids, Etiquette
Missing Maid of Honor

Photo: Perry Vaile

She's your best friend or your sister or your favorite co-worker or your family member who you've grown up side by side with since you both were wearing matching multi-colored Huggies. But now, during your wedding adventure, she's your maid of honor. Your go-to girl and the person who is supposed to stand by your side before you say "I do," through late night phone chats and great debates over whether or not to have a kale salad as an option on the menu. The only problem is, she's gone MIA. You can't find her. She doesn't answer your emails, your phone calls, and all of a sudden, she's totally and completely out the picture.

It happens. Wedding stress can become too much and even your number one pal, can start to feel it and slowly tip toe in the opposite direction. Here's what to do when you sense that starting to happen.

Step 1: Call Her Up and Say "What's Up?"
If you start to see she's ignoring you or suddenly growing very blasé over your wedding planning, give her a ring and see what's going on. Maybe she has something happening in her personal life that's occupying her time and emotional capacity. Before you assume she's just not that into you anymore, reach out to her directly to get a sense of what's going on.

Step 2: Take Something Off Her Plate
Perhaps you've overloaded her with too many responsibilities and she doesn't know where to get started, so she just has decided not to start at all. Let her know that you have someone else who has offered to help out with planning the bridal shower or booking a reservation for the wedding party to get their nails done.

See more: 10 Things to Know Before Being a Bridesmaid

Step 3: Delegate Tasks to Other Bridesmaids
If there are urgent things that need to get taken care of and she's nowhere to be found, don't exhaust yourself over trying to find her and drag her back in to the wedding craziness. Instead, reach out to your other bridesmaids and see who is available to help out. Often, bridesmaids are eager to help, but they just don't know what the bride needs their help with.

Step 4: Ask Her if She Still Wants to Be Your MOH
Sometimes, the excitement of being asked to be a MOH trumps the actual mindset of the types of responsibilities that come along with it. If she's not helping out or disinterested, ask her if she'd like to still take on the job. If not, tell her you're more than okay with just having her as a bridesmaid — and of course, as your good friend.

Jen Glantz is a "Professional Bridesmaid" and the founder ofBridesmaid for Hire. She's the author of All My Friends Are Engaged and frequently wears old bridesmaid dresses to the grocery store and on first dates.

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