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There's a whole lot of truth in the saying, "A happy wife is a happy life" because, let's face it, if you're not happy with yourself it's bound to spill over into the marriage and make both partners pretty miserable. Oftentimes, it can be hard to pinpoint what the real problem is though when you're so caught up in the daily grind of things and taking care of everyone else but you. Vow to stop making excuses for your moodiness today, and get back to being the happy go lucky couple you once were by putting yourself first finally.
1. Get a life
Just because you've found the one doesn't mean you should give up nights out with the girls or team sports on the weekend. According to Laurel House, relationship expert and author of upcoming book Screwing The Rules...The No Game's Guide To Love, one of the most important components to a successful partnership is individuality. "Unless you continue to be the layered, dynamic person who your man first fell for, he could lose interest. You could become boring," she warns. "If you're not passionate about your career or you're a stay at home mom/wife, find a hobby that inspires you, pursue a side job or volunteer for a favorite nonprofit." Whatever the activity is, make it yours.
2. Figure out what you stand for
The US army has seven core values: Loyalty, Duty, Respect, Selfless Service, Honor, Integrity and Personal Courage. What are yours? If you're not sure, sit down and make a list, suggests House. "What's interesting is that oftentimes one or several of your core values are actually weaknesses. In fact, when you're feeling off, unfulfilled or not yourself, it's typically because you are being untrue to one or more of them." Having an awareness of what they are (for instance, diligence) and how you can strengthen each one (set deadlines, enlist an accountability buddy, etc.) keeps you on course to being your best, most authentic self, she notes. Once you're confident in your core values your self-confidence will increase, and that's attractive!
3. Ask for what you need
You may not be scared to ask your spouse for what you want (i.e. material possessions), but what about the things you need from him/her in the relationship? Are you even aware of them (for example, mutual respect, financial security, affection, open communication, etc.)? "If not, it's time to speak up and discuss what you can both do to improve the dynamic," advises House. "Voicing your needs is an essential component of being true to yourself and having personal integrity. Be honest, direct and confident, yet loving in your approach."