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We'd all like to think that our friends have our backs — and that they're not gossiping, plotting or just plain angry behind them. But as unfortunate as this is, weddings have a way of bringing out the worst in some people. Here, we identify the three people you should watch out for, and how to deal if they show their green sides.
His jealous sister
This is the woman your man has always protected and confides in — until now. "And not only that, she's feeling displaced by you because her parents, your new in-laws, adore you, too," says relationship expert April Masini. "She will try to sabotage your relationship with your in-laws because she feels she's lost her brother to you."
So, "kill her with kindness," Masini suggests. "Practice patience. And allow her to win a few by pulling your punches."
His ex-girlfriend, who is a current friend-of-the-family
To your (rightful) displeasure, this woman has stayed attached to your husband's family long after their breakup. "You are the object of her lost dreams," explains Masini. "She sees you as someone who's taken something from her. "
Rather than take the defensive, play offensive by acting as her personal matchmaker. "Make sure that you've invited at least two dates for her at any family function where she's also going to be invited," Masini says. "She needs to move on, and if she won't do it on her own, you can help her by introducing her to awesome, single men."
The friend who's the "perfect 10"
And you are an eight, in her mind. "It happens more often than not, that the 'prettiest woman in the room' — the one who wins everything and does it all right — is single and feels that she's the one who should be getting married first," Masini says. This woman will definitely show her ugliest green side, given enough time. "She's not going to harm you, as much as she's going to be useless as a friend. Her self-esteem will survive only because her narcissism props it up."
You're sure-fire action plan is to leave this woman to her own devices. "Be there to explain that sometimes beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and there's someone for everyone," Masini says. "If she can walk through this without making the drama all about her, she will come out of it a better friend and a better person. Save the 'you're welcome' for when that happens, though."