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Remember when you said, "I do!" to being a bridesmaid? Well, you also verbally agreed to a grocery-sized list of tasks that are going to invade your very personal space, everything from dancing the tango to a Bruno Mars song with the bride's balding uncle to helping her go to the bathroom in a wedding dress. So in the middle of getting your hair curled or your drink on, expect a couple of 15 minute adventures to the bathroom stall, where you'll grab and twist and hold whatever you have to hold in order to help her pee anywhere but on her dress. Here are some tips and tricks to make sure that goes without a splash.
1. Grab Another Pair of Hands
Invite another warrior bridesmaid along. One of you should conquer the left side of her dress and the other, the right side. As the bride squats, both of you should grab and lift as much fabric as you can.
2. To the Window, to the Wall
This may be the opposite of everything you've learned or done in your 20-something years, but the easiest way to do this is by having the bride face the wall and straddle the toilet in that direction. That way, the back/train of her dress will be away from the toilet.
3. Handicap Stall or Bust
Don't even try to go in a bathroom that's not the handicap stall. You'll want to grab onto the bars and use the extra space to spread out while you assist the bride with holding the layers of her dress.
4. Snap Out of It
If things prove to be too difficult, have her take her dress off. But if that's the case, slice off about 25-minutes for each bathroom trip.
5. Pee on Queue
Set up times for your bride to hit the bathroom in advance: before the ceremony and reception, after the toasts, and before you get so drunk you might be the one that needs help in the bathroom.
6. Friends Who Pee Together ...
Because once you've figured out a way for your bride to go to the bathroom, you'll realize that there are few people in this world who can pee on demand, let alone with two other people standing by your side watching. Run the water or ask another bridesmaid to come along with you and go in a different stall.
Jen Glantz is a "Professional Bridesmaid" and the founder of Bridesmaid for Hire. She's the author of All My Friends Are Engaged and frequently wears old bridesmaid dresses to the grocery store and on first dates.