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Once you get engaged, everyone will have an opinion about your wedding: There's the crazy co-worker who insists that, "You've gotta have a chocolate fountain at your wedding." Your pushy aunt who reminds you, "Don't forget: in our family, we always have fireworks at a wedding." Your meddlesome mailman who says, "Your guests will be blowing bubbles at you after your ceremony, right? You've gotta have bubbles, or it's not a wedding."
And though all of these people mean well, it's frustrating (and seriously annoying) to have everyone give their two cents on what your wedding should be like. Plus, it puts you in a tough spot. You're essentially left with two choices — incorporate their bad idea into your wedding or explain why you're not. Mostly, you just want to tell everybody to shut up and mind their own business. But instead of doing just that, keep calm and carry on by following these three simple steps instead:
1. Buy a small notebook.
Keep it in your purse at all times. (You never know when a bad wedding idea'll come your way — be prepared.)
2. When a bad wedding idea comes your way, grab your notebook.
Jot down the bad idea. (Don't forget the "Oh, yes,"-es "I hadn't thought of that,"-s and "Thank you for this" comments.) Close notebook. Return to purse. While your crazy co-worker, pushy aunt, or meddling mailman watches you jot down their idea, they'll feel heard, appreciated and cared about.
3. Never look at—or think about—that bad wedding idea again.
By never thinking about the bad wedding idea again, you eliminate your need to justify your decisions to random people, and you prevent yourself from going down the "Who are they to tell me what to have at my wedding" path of outrage.
So next time a bad wedding idea is foisted upon you, write it down and forget about it. Continue on with planning your wedding, your way. And nobody's feelings get hurt — not even yours.
Allison Moir-Smith, MA, is the author of Emotionally Engaged: A Bride's Guide to Surviving the '"Happiest" Time of Her Life and has been helping brides feel happier, calmer and better prepared for marriage since 2002. She is a bridal counselor, an expert in engagement anxiety and cold feet, and the founder of Emotionally Engaged Counseling for Brides.