For the Groom: How to Choose Your Best Man


Every week, we give our readers a glimpse inside the mindset of a guy's brain on weddings with the help of the hilarious and smart editors at The Plunge. For their latest installment, they're sharing tips for choosing the best man.

The best man doesn't have the toughest job in the world, unless "have the best time ever at your best friend's best day" sounds difficult to you. The job of picking who that man will be, however, can be tough. Inevitably, questions arise about who to pick, how to "break ties" of friendship, and how to avoid bruised egos. Here are some common issues we find ourselves frequently addressing.

What if my best friend isn't up for the task?
While the typical Brides reader might consider reliability, maturity, and organization when choosing a maid of honor, we men think about such things as, "Who was with me when I saw my first nudie magazine?" when picking our best man. So regardless of the availability of a "more appropriate" choice, your very best lifelong friend should always be best man. Let's face it, the best man's responsibilities aren't that complicated. If your best friend can't handle something, you'll just do it yourself (or delegate it to another groomsman).

See More: A Groom Speaks: 5 Things I've Realized About Weddings Now That I'm Married

What if I have two equally best friends? I don't want to insult or reject either one.
Again, we men keep it simple. Do you have a brother? Yes? Problem solved. No? Then you have two choices. If they are sensitive and you really can't decide, you can opt to have two best men. One plans the bachelor party, one holds the rings, both give toasts. We'd recommend this move for two brothers as well. Three or more and you're on your own, though. If you're a traditionalist, the second option is to break the tie with years of friendship. Then tell your friends everyone would be best man if possible but the stupid ceremony makes you pick one and you've known Dave the longest, so congrats Dave.

What if I'm not that close with my brother?
Remember, this is an honorary title that carries precious few actual responsibilities. If you truly need anything, you'll rely on your close friends anyway. Picking your bro keeps everyone happy and maintains appearances, like when Uncle Junior Soprano was officially boss of Jersey but the family actually answered to Tony. (Not that things worked out so great for Tony or Uncle Jun', but you get the point.)

What if my best friend is a girl?
It has become more common to have close girl friends as groomsmen and vice versa, so if your fiancé and family are comfortable with it then maybe that's a way to go. Alternatively, your fiancé could invite her to be a bridesmaid. If you're that close she must have developed a relationship with your bride-to-be at some point, right?

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