What to Do When You Hate His Best Man

Etiquette, Grooms
Dealing With Best Man You Hate Tips

Photo: Getty Images

You're getting married and everything is planned. You got almost everything you wanted — except that, unfortunately, a shark did not eat the best man during your future husband's bachelor-party weekend in Mexico. Okay, so you hate the best man (who happens to be your fiancé's BFF or brother or some other close relative), and he's got a major role in your wedding. What can you do to make sure that his presence at the altar (and making toasts and on the dance floor and at the bar) doesn't take anything away from the biggest day in your new life?

1. Be honest with yourself about why you hate the best man.
Is it because of his ever-present seat on your couch during football and basketball seasons? Or because he drags your fiancé to places he wouldn't go on his own without you? Are you being petty and jealous, or are your concerns legitimate? Only you can answer this one. And if the answer seems to be that you are the one with the problem, you might want to stop right here and get your own head on straight before the wedding.

2. Assuming your concerns are fair and legitimate, talk to your fiancé about your misgivings.
Try not to call his BFF names or point out all of his transgressions. Explain, calmly and rationally, why you are worried about his behavior at your own wedding and ask your fiancé what he thinks about it.

See More: How to Avoid Losing Your Wedding Ring (and What to Do If it Happens)

3. If the best man has no idea that you hate him, talk to him directly about your worries.
Declare a "date night" for the two of you, buy him dinner, and tell him that you know he's the most important guy in your fiancé's life and you don't want to come between them. That said, there are a couple of things you'd like to compromise on for the big day. His penchant for stealing the microphone to belt out inappropriate songs are a good place to start.

4. Call in back up.
If the best man is part of your fiancé's crew, talk to one of the guys you are closer to and ask for his help in keeping the troublemaker in line during actual wedding events.

5. Accept that despite all the things you're doing to prevent his stupidity, the best man may still do something irritating.
Promise yourself that you will not react — or even acknowledge it. Don't let it ruin your big day.

Owner of Weddings in Vieques, a destination-wedding planning company off the coast of Puerto Rico, Sandy Malone has helped countless couples plan their big day since 2007.

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