Photo: Warner Bros/Courtesy of Neal Peters Collection
Your guy's bachelor party is coming up, and truth be told, you're starting to wig out a bit. What if there are strippers? What if he drinks way too much and does something stupid? What if he gets stranded on the top of a hotel building Hangover style (okay, that one's not exactly likely, but still!)? You've heard way too many horror stories not to worry just a tad. Alas though, you can rest your pretty little minds, brides, because we've put together the ultimate bachelor party survival guide for engaged girls.
Do have a discussion before he leaves
Every bride and groom is different in terms of what they're looking for out of their bachelor-bachelorette party and how they expect their significant other to behave, explains sex educator and concierge for My Secret Soiree, Kait Scalisi. "Some couples may not even be worried about it! However, it is important for both partners to get on the same page. This conversation can either happen over the course of a few talks or one big talk, again, depending on how important the night and its details are to the couple." Some things that are vital to discuss, according to Scalisi, are:
— Expectations for the evening, including what each person is hoping to get out of the night and their hard and soft limits for the other person (e.g. "absolutely don't do x" versus "I'd prefer you didn't do x")
— Whether contact during the night is okay
— Whether they want to discuss the night with each other or "put it in the vault"
— Any fears, anxieties, worries, etc.
"The goal of the conversation shouldn't necessarily be 100% agreement, but rather respect for each other's opinions and finding a middle ground that honors and respects both partners' feelings and limits," says Scalisi.
Don't bombard him with texts while he's there
"While it's okay to send him a text telling him that you hope he's having a great time with his friends, you don't want him to feel like you don't trust him," warns Joanne Barken, founder of The Bach, an online platform for planning bachelorette parties. Instead, let him know you're thinking of him and win some major points with his friends by surprising the entire bachelor group with a bottle of champagne or liquor at the hotel or club, she suggests. You can easily coordinate this with his best man beforehand to ensure all goes smoothly.
Do plan your bachelorette party for the same time as his
If the scheduling works, it's not a bad idea to have the bachelor and bachelorette parties during the same weekend. "That way you know you will be entertained and having a great time with your best friends rather than stuck at home envisioning a scene from The Hangover," says Barken.
Don't cross-examine him when he comes home
Of course, you've got a ton of questions running through your mind, but the last thing you want to do is interrogate your man the moment he walks through the door. "Chances are, he's going to be tired, hungover and really happy to see you," points out Barken. If you feel like you can't fall asleep at night unless a few questions are answered though, she recommends waiting to bring them up until after he's had some rest. "You're about to be married, so if something is bothering you, he should be able to talk openly to you about the issue," she says.