Owner of Weddings in Vieques, a destination-wedding planning company off the coast of Puerto Rico, Sandy Malone has helped countless couples plan their big day since 2007. Here, the veteran planner sharing some ways to get your mom involved on your big day.
So you've dreamed of planning your wedding for years, and so has your mom. But maybe your visions are different, or you just don't work well together as a team on event planning projects. That doesn't mean you should dread planning your wedding — it means you need a plan. The key is to find ways to keep your mom feeling included without letting her turn you wedding into the day of her dreams. Here's how to do just that:
1. Wedding Invitations are a great thing to assign to mom. Unless you really feel strongly about the actual invitation itself, you can let her take the lead in helping choose them, too. Or you choose them and then ask to put her address on the RSVP envelopes. She and one of her girlfriends can stuff, address, and mail the invitations. Then she's responsible for cataloging responses as your guests send back the response cards.
2. If your mother is creative, ask her to handle your favors, place cards and goodies for the welcome bags. Does she paint? Can she sew? Use your imagination and head out to the craft store with her. It will alleviate a lot of work for you. That said, you can spend time with her creating these things and have a blast doing it if you want some great bonding time.
3. Creating special welcome bags for the flower girl, ring bearer and any other children attending your big day can be a fun mom project. If it's a destination wedding, you will want to provide lots of "quiet" activities — coloring and activity books with washable markers or crayons included. Be careful with the snacks unless you know the children's dietary restrictions — you don't want your mom spending hours baking her famous peanut butter cookies if the flower girl is allergic to them.
4. It's important to catalog your wedding gifts properly and make sure the thank-you notes are sent out in a timely manner. (This is just as important for all the engagement parties and showers that precede the main event.) Mom can help manage the gift list — you can even have them sent to her house when you register if she's home more than you are and is a more secure delivery point. But you and your groom still have to write the actual notes.
5. Are you planning a reception back home after a destination wedding? Leave it in your mother's hands and help her, instead of taking control of the main event. As long as you have exactly what you want for your wedding day, the reception afterwards is a great way to let her have some of what is more important to her.