Photo: Warner Bros/Courtesy of Neal Peters Collection
Every week, we give our readers a glimpse inside the mindset of a guy's brain on weddings with the help of the hilarious and smart editors at The Plunge. For their fifth installment (read their last post here), they're sharing what actually happens at the bachelor party.
My bachelor party is coming up and while my fiancé and I have the type of relationship where we talk openly about these things and set expectations (relationships other than this type are not recommended for marriage, by the way), I fear Brides readers might become worried by the many articles describing bachelor parties as booze-addled stripper fests. So here's the truth.
His Friends Are There for Themselves, Not Your Fiancé
He's a nice guy, sure, but we just want to party. Saying "goodbye" to the groom on his "last night of freedom" is our excuse to gather for some quality male bonding in the form of drinking and replicating the socially irresponsible behaviors that forged our friendships back in high school or college. We mock the groom, taunt him for all he's about to give up, and call it a roast to justify it — just like the good old days!
"Booze-Addled" Is a Reasonable Description
Yes, we drink exactly as much as you think. A bachelor party is just a bender masquerading as a legitimate celebration, where any minor event is cause for drinking.
"Sex Fest" Is Not So Much
Sex is a major component always associated with bachelor parties, but it's typically the idea of sex than actual sex. The guys who are already married or in relationships watch and live vicariously as the single guys try to pick up girls. The single guys try to goad the attached guys into doing something they shouldn't — and this is where we remind you to tell your guy what makes you uncomfortable before turning him loose in the wild. But it's more drinking than anything else, in case you were worried.
"Horrifying Mess" Might be Most Accurate
In college, it was easy to eat trash and slam cheap beers for 48 hours straight. That was called "the weekend." Now? That spicy chicken sandwich isn't nearly as good going down as we remember, and it's sure to be even worse coming back up. This doesn't stop us from going for the gusto all the same, and the results are foul. Nobody showers, the floors are covered with empty beer cans and hot dog bits, and the entire place smells like stale cigarettes, gym socks, and shame.
There's Always "That Guy"
Even though we're all drunk, one idiot will inevitably take it too far and force everyone to treat him like a baby and make sure he doesn't get arrested. Eventually, we all start to hope he actually does get arrested. Also, the girls should probably be able to guess who that guy is. Don't let your guy be that guy.
Someone Will Get Hurt
This will perhaps happen during a drunken belly flop contest, arm wrestling match, or go-kart crash. Most likely after a fight breaks out for no immediately apparent reason.
Bros Will Be Bros
There will be many almost-too-long-for-comfort bro hugs and "I LOVE YOU MAN"s, possibly following the above-mentioned fight but most likely, again, for no immediately apparent reason.
So as you can see, you have very little to worry about. As long as your guy returns from the bachelor party hung over, stinking, and bereft of all dignity, you can be sure he had the time of his life.
Even if they don't seem super involved in the wedding-planning process, grooms are going through the same life-changing experience as their brides-to-be. Enter: The Plunge. The site helps the engaged guy navigate his wedding from a man's point of view.