The RSVP Deadline Has Passed and I Haven't Heard from a Third of Our Guests! What Do I Do?

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Photo: Courtesy of Brides Fine Wedding Papers

Your wedding invitations are printed, stamped, and mailed—congrats! And now, the waiting game begins as the RSVPs begin trickling in. But if your deadline is approaching or has now expired, what do you do if guests have not responded? Should you assume they aren't coming? Our etiquette experts are here to answer your wedding-invitation questions in our daily post.

Our RSVP deadline was yesterday and I haven't heard from a third of our guests! Should we assume they're not coming? What should we do?

As irritating as it sounds, you're going to have to chase down those RSVPs. We totally get it—after all the work you've put in to your invitations, they least they could do is respond with a simple "yes" or "no." I mean, you even provided the stamped envelope! But for some reason, failure to RSVP is epidemic and your guests will always have a reason—they either lost the card, simply forgot to mail it, assumed you already know they'll be there, or thought that telling your groom verbally that they're coming would suffice (nope!). But as annoying as it may be, you should never assume that they're not coming.

Since your RSVP deadline was yesterday, you should call each guest who hasn't responded immediately. If that's a lot of phone calls, divvy up the list with your fiancé and loved ones. If you get their voice mail, add a time by which you'd like to hear back: "If we don't hear from you by Thursday, we'll put you down as a no. Sorry to miss you." And while a phone call is preferred, email is acceptable too. Just know that it may take a few more days before you hear back from guests.

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