Can I Tell My Bridesmaids What Kind of Bridal Shower I Want?


If you are recently engaged, you're likely in full-on wedding-planning mode, tackling all the endless "to do" items on your master checklist. But one party you can hand off to someone else? Your bridal shower. Perhaps your bridesmaids have offered to throw the party in your honor. Is it appropriate to let them know what theme or color scheme you'd like to have? Or would that be stepping on their toes? Our wedding etiquette experts are here to answer your bridal-shower questions in our daily post.

Can I tell my bridesmaids what kind of bridal shower I want?

If your bridesmaids have offered to throw you a shower, then it's a good idea to discuss some basic party details with them. Keep in mind, though, that contrary to popular belief, the maid/matron of honor and the bridesmaids are not required to host a shower as part of their official responsibilities, though they certainly can if they want to, so be gracious and thankful for their generosity. Talk to your bridesmaids about which dates might work best for you (the shower is ideally held two months to two weeks before the wedding), but avoid making specific demands, especially ones that might affect the budget. It's fine to mention that, say, you would prefer not to play any shower games, but refrain from requests that would be an extra expense. Don't try to take control of this celebration being thrown in your honor. Instead, just trust your bridesmaids—we're sure they are planning a party that totally suits your personality and sense of style.

Give a Subscription to Brides Magazine as a Gift

Get personalized planning advice, exclusive offers and must-read wedding news.

Thank You
for Signing Up!

Check your e-mail inbox for the latest updates from