How Can I Make Sure the Groomsmen Don't Get Too Rowdy at My Wedding?

Etiquette
taming rowdy groomsmen

Photo: Bright Bird

Of course you want the groomsmen to have a good time at your wedding. But what if you're worried they're going to have a little too much fun (translation: and not be able to perform their groomsmen duties)? Our wedding etiquette experts are here to answer your questions in our daily post.

How can I make sure the groomsmen don't get too rowdy at the wedding?

If you're worried that some of the groomsmen are going to be unorganized, late to the wedding, or drunk before the ceremony even begins, then the first thing to do is talk with your groom about your concerns. Tread carefully, though, because these guys are his closest friends. Come prepared with facts ("remember how he acted at Tom and Whitney's wedding?") and avoid slamming their character ("he gets drunk all the time").

Once you've shared your concerns with your groom, then he should take steps to head off any potential trouble. He should talk to his buddies—and he should say these are his concerns, not yours (he shouldn't throw you under the bus!). He should place the most emphasis on what he wants them to do, rather than what he wants them not to do. It's also a good idea to give each groomsman a copy of the wedding-day schedule; this way they know exactly where and when they need to be throughout the day.

Clue your wedding vendors in on your concerns, too. Ask your planner or day-of coordinator to check in with the groomsmen the morning of the wedding to make sure they're ready on time. Talk to your caterer, as well, and if alcohol is a likely factor in their behavior, you may want to arrange for the beer or wine to be slow to arrive at their table, and their non-alcoholic choices to be abundant.

Lastly, don't forget to feed them! The wedding day is going to be a long, exhausting day for everyone involved, so be sure to provide breakfast and lunch, and pack extra snacks and drinks so that everyone is eating and sufficiently hydrated throughout the day. That way no one will be cranky, hungry, or too tipsy before the ceremony begins.

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