4 Clever Ways to Dodge the "When Are You Going to Have a Baby?" Questions

Relationships
Ways to Avoid Answering Questions About Having Kids

Photo: Getty Images

Oh your friends and family; they can be so ... nosy! If you're being swarmed with the various shades of the oh-so-notorious "When are you going to have kids?" questions, and it's driving you crazy, take heart: It happens to every new bride and groom. Instead of feeling caught-off-guard, here are a few response you might try:

1. Play the pet card: A great way to diffuse this question is to simply ... change the subject! And a great, and satisfying subject-changer is to talk about the adorable puppy, kitten, or fill-in-the-blank pet you and your new husband are thinking of getting. After all, what they say is true: Pets are a great way to ease into parenthood.

2. Turn the question around: When someone brings up the baby question, consider flipping things around. If they've already had children, maybe interview them about their experience, for example: "Well, you certainly make motherhood look great!" or "How long did you and your husband wait before you had kids?" This way, it's more of a conversation and you won't feel so put on the spot.

3. Smile, laugh, and be vague: It's important to know that no matter how curious people may seem, you don't owe anyone an answer. Family planning is personal and your Aunt Melva, and even your maid-of-honor, doesn't need to know that you'd love to be pregnant by summer, or, conversely that maybe you have no interest in motherhood at all. Instead of spilling your heart (that's exhausting), just smile, laugh and offer a vague answer like, "Well, wouldn't that be interesting to consider," or "That would make interesting conversation on our next date night" or some such.

4. Flatter: One easy way to address the question and move on, is to flatter the question-asker. Try saying something like, "Well, grandma, we're not really sure if we want to have a baby just yet, but if anything changes, you'll be the first to know!" This type of answer validates the person's question and interest in your life in a way that flatters them and makes them feel important and yet leaves no further room for discussion. In the end, most family and friends simply want to share in your joy, and this type of response helps them know that you understand (even if you're not painting the nursery just yet).

Sarah Jio

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