I Don't Want My Fiancé's Brother's Heavy Metal Band to Play at Our Wedding Reception. How Do I Tell Him Gently?


Weddings are all about love and family, but even the most inclusive brides and grooms eventually have to draw the line someplace. You should be able to have the kind of wedding reception you want, and if that means saying no to an eager, instrument-playing sibling or in-law, then so be it. How do you handle this type of issue, though? Our wedding etiquette experts are here to answer your family questions in our daily post.

My fiancé's little brother is part of a metal band and wants us to hire them for our wedding. He says he can tone it down, but there is just no way I'm letting them play at my wedding reception. How do I tell him this without causing tension between us?

Not to go all kindergarten on you, but honesty is definitely the best policy. Explain to his Little Bro that this is your once-in-a-lifetime celebration, and you have always had your heart set on a different type of music for your wedding. Giving in and letting him play a Judas Priest medley to a slow beat—or, yikes, try to do Motown covers—won't make either of you happy. If you are having an after-party, though, sign the kid up! There, he can rock out to his heart's content.

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