We Sent Out Save-the-Dates To More Guests Than We Can We Can Have At Our Wedding. How Do We Handle This?

Blue wedding stationery suite

Photo: Courtesy of Vigilante Paper

A save-the-date card is generally considered to be a pre-wedding invitation: If a guest receives one in the mail, they naturally expect to (and should) get invited to the wedding. However, a lot can change in the time that passes in between the two notes. How should a bride- and groom-to-be handle a situation in which their guest list must be drastically cut before invitations go out, but after they have sent out their save-the-dates? Our wedding etiquette experts are here to answer your wedding guest questions in our daily post.

When we originally planned our wedding, we wanted it to be much larger and sent out a lot of save-the-date magnets. Financially, our situation has changed, and we have to cut anyone who is not family or an extremely close friend. How do I tell those who are no longer invited?

This question probably hits home for a lot of couples. As with everything else in the world, honesty is the best way to handle your change of plans. Invite the smaller number of family and close friends to your wedding. Send those other magnet people a letter (handwritten is best, but if that's not possible, printed but individually addressed will do) saying exactly what you just said: Your financial situation has changed, and you have to sacrifice the large wedding reception you had wanted to host for a very small family ceremony. Perhaps you can invite everyone else to an informal reception after you return home from your honeymoon.

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