When You & Your Fiancé Fight: The Surprising Tip That May Save Your Relationship

Relationships
Tips for How to Have a Good Fight with Your Fiance

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Fights with your fiancé? So not fun (especially when he's wrong, and you know it!). But, even with wedding stress—seating charts, cake tastings, honeymoon tickets— looming, new research suggests that there's something you can do during a fight to safeguard your relationship.

According to a new study published in the journal, Emotion, wives may actually hold the key to the health of a marriage—if they fight the right way.

Here's the relationship-saving tip: Keep it calm, gals. Yes, yes, not easy to remember when he's late again, or was completely insensitive about your stressful day at work (hello, boss from hell), or any number of mishaps that made your blood boil. But, if you can keep your angst toned down a few decibels, you'll be a happier couple for it.

This was the conclusion of a study of 156 couples conducted by researchers at UC-Berkeley, who say that—hands down—when women learn to regulate their emotions during a fight, relationships were stronger in the short and long-term. And, interestingly, couples also were reportedly happier when women took an active role in problem-solving during and after an argument.

"When wives discuss problems and suggest solutions, it helps couples deal with conflicts," says UC-Berkeley psychologist Robert Levenson. "Ironically, this may not work so well for husbands, who wives often criticize for leaping into problem-solving mode too quickly."


When's the last time you had a fight with your guy? Did things escalate quickly or were you able to keep your cool? Drop us a line on Twitter or Facebook using #happybride to keep the conversation going.

Sarah Jio

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