What Is A Polite Way to Tell My Future Mother-in-Law That I Don't Want to Wear Her Veil for My Wedding?


Wedding veils may be all the rage right now, but some brides want to opt out of the classic bridal accessory. Some want to wear a flower crown, others wish to don a princess-like tiara, and still others simply want to let their own hair shine, unadorned. Whatever the reasoning behind it, how do you politely tell an eager future mother-in-law that you don't want to wear her veil on your wedding day? Our wedding etiquette experts are here to answer your questions in our daily post.

My future mother-in-law wants me to wear her veil. How do I say no without offending her?

You have a few options. Option one: Give in. Is it so awful? Can your hairdresser fashion the veil with combs, flowers, or bobby pins? Option two: Offer to use the veil another way—as a shoulder wrap, maybe. If that doesn't fly, see if your own mother has her veil, which you'll just have to wear instead. Last resort: Tell her the truth. If it is because she's divorced and you think it would be bad luck, that's one thing. It is also acceptable to decline if you're hosting a super-casual wedding for which a veil would be inappropriate, or if it simply does not go with your wedding dress. But if you want to say no thank you because you want to show her who's boss, this may not be the moment. I'd probably give in; if you don't like it, you can take it off for photos.

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