How Do I Deal With a Bridesmaid Who Has Lost Interest in My Wedding?

Bridesmaids, Etiquette

With the thought and care you put into choosing your bridesmaids, don't you hope they're just as excited as you are about your wedding? Sometimes, a friend or relative can subtly show disinterest in your big day by delaying buying a bridesmaid dress or not booking a flight or hotel. How do you gently broach the subject with her and deal with the situation? Our wedding etiquette experts are here to answer your bridal party questions in our daily post.

One of my bridesmaids has lost interest in the wedding. I had to stalk her to get her dress measurements and even had to put down the deposit because she didn't contact the salon in time. Now she won't return the store's calls about paying the balance and shipping, and she still hasn't booked her flight or hotel for my wedding. What can I do?

First, don't sweat her travel plans—you have enough to worry about, and if she doesn't make them until the last minute, that's her concern, not yours. Regarding the dress, contact the salon, explain the situation and find out what their drop-dead due date is for payment. Then send your friend an e-mail with the information. Keep your tone breezy and neutral. Try something like "I know you've got a lot going on right now, but I wanted to let you know that the salon needs the balance by November 5, the latest. Thanks, and I can't wait to see you—you're going to look gorgeous and we're going to have a blast."

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