How Do I Tell My New Husband That I Need Some Alone Time?

Etiquette, Relationships

Once you settle in with your new husband and new registry items, it's time to work out some key cohabitation issues—especially if you've never lived with a significant other before. Our etiquette experts are here to help with your married life questions our daily post.

I never lived with anyone until I got married. How do I tell my husband I need some alone time once in a while?

Being married does not mean you need to be joined at the hip. In fact, according to a 25-year study by psychologist Terri Orbach at the University of Michigan's Institute for Social Research, a lack of alone time is the cause of more unhappy marriages than a so-so sex life. When you talk to your husband about it, don't be confrontational—and avoid asking for something as general as "me time." Instead, be specific about what you need and why you need it. For example, you might tell him that you'd like to start taking a walk on your own every morning to clear your head for the workday. In addition, be sure to set up some regular couple time. As unsexy as scheduling a date may seem, it will ensure that there's still a time when romance rules and all talk of bills, work drama, and yard work gets put aside.

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