What Do I Say To A Wedding Guest Who RSVP'ed With Extra Names?

Etiquette
Wedding invitation rsvp extra people etiquette

Photo: Ingalls Photo

When it comes time to RSVP, some guests will treat the names on the wedding invitation as a suggestion, not a number. What do you say to people who tack on extra names? Our etiquette experts are here to answer the tricky question our daily post.

We invited three people, with their names written on the inside envelope, and we got a response of seven attending! What should I do?

Inviting an extra guest or two (or four!) to someone else's wedding is nothing less than rude, so don't lose sleep over offending these people. Call up the original invitees and tell them how happy you are that they're coming, but, unfortunately, you just can't accommodate any more than the three people you invited. If they offer to pay for the extra dinners (and many do), hold your ground. Cite maximum occupancy laws or your fears of a too-large wedding cake toppling onto the dance floor. Or, tell the truth: you've invited only your very nearest and dearest and you'd like their help in keeping it to that. If they can't attend without their entourage, they'll have to regret. And at this point, you shouldn't have any regrets of your own.

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