My Guests Invited Extra People! What Should I Do?

Etiquette
Neon wedding RSVP card

Photo: Andrew McCaul

Always stay true to your original guest list. If wedding guests mark a few extra people on their RSVP cards, don't hold back on calling them out! Our etiquette experts explain how to use your wedding invitations to control your guest list—even when your guests are acting in bad taste.

We invited three people, with their names written on the inside envelope, and we got a response of seven attending! What should I do?

Inviting an extra guest or two (or four!) to someone else's wedding is nothing less than rude, so don't lose sleep over offending these people. Call up the original invitees and tell them how happy you are that they're coming, but, unfortunately, you just can't accommodate any more than the three people you invited. If they offer to pay for the extra dinners (and many do), hold your ground. Cite maximum occupancy laws or your fears of a too-large wedding cake toppling onto the dance floor. Or, tell the truth: you've invited only your very nearest and dearest and you'd like their help in keeping it to that. If they can't attend without their entourage, they'll have to regret. And at this point, you shouldn't have any regrets of your own.

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