I Recently Found My Biological Father: Should He Walk Me
Down the Aisle?

Ceremony & Vows, Etiquette
father walking bride down the aisle in classic wedding ceremony

Photo: Caroline Tran

Prodigal plus-ones? Wandering guests? Parental power plays? Lisa Birnbach, author of The Official Preppy Handbook, helps you navigate wedding planning with grace.

I found my biological father two and a half years ago, and I'm not on good terms with my mom and stepdad. Can I ask him to walk me down the aisle even though he wasn't a part of my life growing up? —Julie D. of Lancaster, Pa., via email

Dear Julie,

It is your wedding, and you should be escorted down the aisle by whomever you want. (Drew Barrymore asked her husband's dad to do the honors.) If your heart is set on your biological father, by all means extend the offer. But if you simply want to avoid walking with your mother or stepfather, you may want to consider other, less complicated options: a brother, a sister, a mentor, the groom—or no one at all. Whatever you decide, inform your mother and stepfather of the plan well ahead of time to prevent any surprise drama at your wedding rehearsal.

—Lisa Birnbach

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