Can I Have One Maid of Honor
and Two Matrons of Honor?

Etiquette
purple bridesmaid dresses fall wedding

Photo: Gulnara Studio

Crashing cousins? A scandalous sister? A few too many besties? Lisa Birnbach, author of The Official Preppy Handbook, helps you navigate often-rocky wedding waters. Her tips will help you keep your sanity—and your wedding party—intact.

I have three best friends, two of whom are married. Can I have one maid of honor and two matrons of honor? Does that mean my fiancé would need to have more than one best man? —Adrienne B. of Greenbelt, Md., via email

Dear Adrienne,

Yes to your first question; you may have one maid of honor and two matrons. So you have more BFFs than your fiancé? No big deal. Most women have more close friends than men do, because we're better at managing friendships. (It's also why we live longer, but I digress.) Your husband-to-be should only stand with men he feels close to: his brother(s)? His college roommate? Not the guy who delivers his nightly pizza. (As a nice gesture of inclusion, many grooms ask their fathers to "attend" them, since they're not "giving away" anyone as the bride's father often does.) Your fiancé can call them all "best men" or "groomsmen," whichever he prefers. These days, just as we don't always match our shoes to our bags (to say nothing of hats and gloves), your combined wedding party does not have to be 100 percent symmetrical. What matters most is that you include all those you'd like to be a part of your ceremony and that you enjoy your big day.

—Lisa Birnbach

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