What is the Best Way to Handle a Wedding Crasher?

Etiquette
how to handle wedding crashers like taylor swift

Photo: Fairchild Archive

Given the recent bad behavior of one Miss Taylor Swift and her Kennedy beau, Connor, we asked the editors at Brides how to best handle an unwanted wedding guest.

Deciding how best to handle wedding crashers begins with determining what kind of crashers you're dealing with:

Are they Taylor Swift and Conor Kennedy?
The adorable country chanteuse and her boyfriend recently crashed Kyle Kennedy's wedding. (Not cool, T-Swizzle, not cool.) Turns out Conor had been invited but had never RSVP'd nor been allotted a plus one—instead he texted Victoria Gifford Kennedy, the mother of the bride, an hour before the ceremony asking if he and his new superstar girlfriend could come. She said no—but the pair showed up anyway.

Considering the circumstances, we think the way Victoria handled things (i.e., asking them to leave) was appropriate. But if a delinquent RSVPer or an uninvited plus one shows up at your wedding, there is another, less disruptive way to go. Roll with it. That's right—no matter how annoying it is that your groom's frat brother couldn't be bothered to send in his reply card, or that your best friend from first grade decided to bring her boyfriend-of-the-minute without telling you, it's not worth getting into a stressful confrontation on your wedding day. This kind of thing happens all the time, so your caterer should be prepared with some extra meals. Ask staff to set a couple of extra places, and get back to having the time of your life.

Are the crashers Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson?
In other words, total strangers? Have your biggest and beefiest guy guest (an ex-linebacker or Marine will do) stand menacingly over the crashers and ask them who they are. Most uninviteds will take the hint and quickly take a hike. If not, have staff from the reception site (quietly) escort them out.

—the editors of Brides

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