Keeping the Faith


Yesterday, as my husband of two months and nine days and I waited in the check-out line at our local grocery store, the cover of the current issue of Time magazine caught my eye. It read, "Unfaithfully Yours: Infidelity is eroding our most sacred institution. How to make marriage matter again." The corresponding article, titled "Is There Hope for the American Marriage?" by Caitlin Flanagan, explores among other things the effect of high profile affairs made public—like those of SC governor Mark Sanford and Jon Gosselin (the alleged philandering father in Jon & Kate Plus 8)—on this revered rite.

Do you think the private lives of our politicians, let alone reality TV stars, should matter? Does hearing about the fallout of these affairs, whether it's reconciliation or divorce, make you more or less sure of the commitment you're about to make? I'm inclined to think our society would be better off—and the institution of marriage more stalwart—if we didn't give these personal dramas so much attention. What do you think: Is our collective obsession with failed marriages maybe making them more common? —Elaine Stuart, senior associate features/travel editor, Modern Bride



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I am the child of a failed marriage and there is a lot to be said for it being more important for people to be happy then to stay together for the kids. I do honestly believe that because we see failed marriages in the people that we admire and talk about i.e. celebrities. Though they are a very small percentage of the population we tend to think they have everything we could ever hope for in life. Therefore when their relationships dont work out we tend to think that is normal and natural forgetting that very little of their actual lives are normal.

Posted 07/07/2009 7:34:26PM
by Kristin

(Reply to Kristin's post) Though I agree that the couple should be happy, I do not think it should be at the expence of their children. I, also am a child of failed marriage. My dad has been married three times & my mom twice. Don't get me wrong, if the marriage is doing that badly, in some cases (if there's abuse, etc.) it's better to divorce for the children. However, I do not belive that's where the issue lies. I submit to you that the problem can be solved
I think the very important detail that seems to be overlooked is choosing the partner & your mindset in going in the relationship.
When people marry these days, they tend to think that if it doesn't work out, they'll divorce. If you see divorce as an option, end up choosing it. You have to choose to stay in love. You may have traversed parenting, careers, finances and fuss over whose turn it is to cook breakfast. you'll change, but you still have to choose each other. Marriage is a fight, but anything in life that's worth it, you have to fight for.
Secondly, as I mentioned, I can't be more convinced that choosing your partner is the other part of the equation. It has to be some one that will fight, too. They have to belive it's worth it.
I also belive that God must be in it. As you grow closer to Him, you'll grow closer to each oher. I'm not a very religious person, but I know this is true for us.
My fiance` is a fire fighter. He works overnight part of the week & sleeps at the station. We have to work harder than some. We have to communicate more, compromise more. Sometimes I know it'd be easy to give up; but I know it won't be worth it to give up. I choose him.
(Reply to Modern Bride)
I completly agree. Marrying & divorcing seems to be a trend. The more attention we give it, the more desensitized people come to it & just accept divorce as a matter of course. As if it's inevitable.

Posted 07/08/2009 10:03:00AM
by Tasha
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