It’s easy for you and your fiancé to get caught up in the whirlwind of planning your wedding. There's so much to do, so many decisions to make, so many things to remember. What many brides- and grooms-to-be often forget, however, is to take a breather and relax. Here, with her student John Rawlinson, Jeanmarie Paolillo—senior instructor at YogaWorks in New York City—shows you how, with the right moves, you and your partner can relieve stress and reconnect. —Elayne Fluker
The Move: A Couple That Breathes Together Stays Together
"With you and your partner sitting cross-legged, bring the palms to touch in front of the heart. Lean in, touch foreheads and bring the prayer pose to touch. Close your eyes. Begin by simply noticing the natural pattern of the breath, first your own, and then bring in the sound of your partner's breathing as well. Gradually allow your breath to slow and match. Once the two of you are breathing together, continue for up to five minutes. (You can set a timer so that neither is tempted to break the pattern.)"
Physical Benefits: "Slowing the breath is the number one antidote to stress! Planning and stressing about the wedding can create a tendency to breathe in more without extending the exhale—in effect, mildly hyperventilating. As we slow the breath, the exhale comes more fully, creating the void into which the next inhale can come."
Love Connection: "By matching your breathing, you are truly connected to each other on one of the deepest levels. It's extremely relaxing and very intimate."
The Move: Steeple Pose
"Facing each other, lean back on your elbows, stretch the legs up and bring the heels of the feet together. Working together, reach one arm forward and take hold of partner's upper arm. Then, holding on to the one arm and pressing the feet together, reach for the other arm. (Bend the knees slightly—this will make it easier to reach for the other arm). Once both arms are connected, stretch the legs up to the ceiling. Lift up through the heart, broaden across the collarbones and open the chest up to the ceiling. Breathe!"
Physical Benefits: "Opens the hamstrings and chest (as long as you’re not collapsing the chest) and tones the core muscles."
Love Connection: "Teamwork! You have to work with each other in order to both come into the pose and get any sense of opening. Come into it with a sense of fun and playfulness, and work with each other to deepen the pose by drawing the partner’s arms more toward you to help open up your heart."
The Move: Double Pretzel—Couple's Twist
"Face each other in a comfortable cross-legged seat. (If this is challenging, sit up on blankets.) Both twist to the right. Rotate your left arm inwardly and reach it back behind you. Reach your right arm behind your partner (whose torso is now facing away from you). Reach for your partner’s left hand (which is behind his back). If you can’t reach hands, use a belt, strap or towel and each take hold of that. Once in the pose, broaden across the collarbones and draw the shoulders away from the ears. Use a gentle pulling action on both hands to deepen the twist. Release the twist and repeat on the other side."
Physical Benefits: "Twists are great for replenishing and re-'plumping' the disks between the vertebrae, which are usually only hydrated with eight full hours of sleep. They also bring freshly oxygenated blood to all the organs in the body and are great for digestion."
Love Connection: "Twists are all about wringing out the old to bring in the new, like a sponge that is wrung out in order to receive more water. A great way to completely and finally let go of the stress from all that planning!"
The Move: Lean on Me
"Have your fiancé come onto his shins, bring his sit bones (butt) onto his heels, then lean forward into child’s pose. If he is very inflexible, he can roll a blanket behind the thighs and place a block (or a book) underneath the forehead. Line your spine up against his, with your buttocks sliding slightly down the curve of his lower back as you reach/stretch your arms strongly alongside your ears. Work together to find the greater sense of ease, release and opening in the pose."
Physical Benefits: "For him, a great release of the lower back, creates length in the entire spine, deeply relaxing. For you, opens the entire front body, allows the breath to fully expand and fill the chest."
Love Connection: "There is a great sense of trust that happens in this pose. For him, it's trusting that you’re taking care to find the correct placement and movement of weight. For you, it's allowing the feeling of support in his body underneath. Since there is no visual contact, the communication has to come from somewhere else—the heart!"
The Move: Supported Heart Opener (Supported Salabhasana)
"Lie face down on a blanket. Stretch back through the legs, press your pinkie toes down into the floor and extend through the big toes. Bring the arms alongside the body and palms face down to floor. As your partner stands over you, lift your head, neck, chest and arms off the floor (keeping feet pressed down). Your partner gently takes hold of the upper arms and lifts you up and back (toward him). Make sure there is no sense of tension or gripping in the butt and no compression in the lower back. If there is tension, relax the lift (i.e., don't lift as high). You can swap places and do this pose to him as well!"
Physical Benefits: "This is a great chest/heart opener and gives length and opening to the entire front body. Back bends/chest-opening poses are exhilarating—I call them little shots of espresso!"
Love Connection: "This is a great opportunity to relate to each other. How does the pose feel? Is the standing partner lifting the other so that there is a lovely even extension on both sides of the chest? Do the arms feel OK?"
The Move: The Trust Bridge
"He leans forward and bends knees deeply enough so that you can lean in and 'sit' toward the top of his butt and hook arms (if you feel like you’re going to slide off, you may need to sit a bit higher up). He can keep knees slightly bent or begin to straighten legs by pulling up the front of the thighs as you lift off the floor and stretch out through the legs. To come out of the pose, he slowly starts to lift up and your feet come to the floor until you’re standing. Delicious!"
Physical Benefits: "Again, a great chest opener for her. As well, it provides a nice opening and release in the front of the pelvis, lower belly, groins and hip flexors (front of the thighs)."
Love Connection: "There is a great sense of trust needed between both partners here and working together—both to find the position and to stay and allow a deeper opening. More important, there is a great sense of fun and playfulness that is inherent in coming into this pose!"
The Move: "Ahhhhhhh"—Heart and Shoulder Opener for Both
"He sits in a comfortable cross-legged seat. You, seated behind, take hold of upper arms and gently place your feet on his midback, one foot on either side of the spine. With the feet, gently massage his back and gently stretch the arms as you straighten your legs to open the shoulders and heart."
Physical Benefits: "Great pose to open chest and align the spine."
Love Connection: "Along with the sense of partnership in coming into and out of the pose, realigning the spine brings clearing and energy to the chakras—including the Anahata chakra (which governs our ability to give and receive love) and the Svadhisthana chakra (which governs our likes and dislikes, sensuality and sexuality)."
The Move: Chair Pose
"Stand with your backs together, facing away from each other. Interlock your arms, press into your partner's back with your back and walk your feet out. Leaning into each other and working together, slowly bend the knees until the front thighs are parallel to the floor. Walk the feet farther away to bring the knees on top of the heels. Try to stay for 10 long, synchronized breaths. It's challenging! To come up, press back into your partner and walk the feet in as you straighten the legs."
Physical Benefits: "Great pose to tone and strengthen hamstrings and outer hips."
Love Connection: "Teamwork, teamwork, teamwork! If working together, there will be a great sense of ease when coming into and out of the pose. But if one is taking on more of the work, it will feel like a game of tug-of-war with an uneven balance of weight on one side!"
For more information on YogaWorks and its 23 locations, visit yogaworks.com.
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